“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to”

Goin' Home

Elvis Presley

Where the purple mountains reach up high

And look like they’re gonna touch the sky

Where the canyon walls have stood for a million years

Where the days are hot, the nights are cold

The desert sand looks just like gold

These trails were carved in sweat and blood and tears

Home. We used to live in rented apartments back when we (my sister JM and I) were still growing up here in Cebu and I envy my classmates who have a home to call their own, at least their parents had. When I was almost 14, we moved to Dauin where my parents really are from. When my brother Brylle was old enough to be in school, all 3 of us siblings were enrolled in St Louis School - Don Bosco in Dumaguete as we settled in the ancestral house of my mother. When I got to college, I can't easily bring my friends who would want to come visit me at the house. For the basic reason, that it's not ours, and my aunt and her family also shares the house with us.

While growing up I had this deep wish was that if I had my own family, I'd make sure I have my own house I can call my own to provide my kids. I'm not sure if this is true until now. All the while I was also trying to break away from home, always hoping for the day to come when I will be working and living away from home.

That day came. And it happened almost 4 years ago. Now, I'm working in Cebu and I go home only once a month and usually not more than 2 days at the most. These are the days when I recharge. My father is the sweetest, he makes sure he picks me up from the terminal even if he's got a lot of things to do. I'm spoiled that way. heehee. But let me tell you, I miss those days when I was just living with my family instead of just visiting them once in a while.

Anyway, same dream I had back when I was still young has now been realized by my parents themselves. Last July 8, they moved to our new house in Ecoville Subdivision. It's a small house but big enough for 4 occupants: my parents, my brother and me. My sister and her family will be staying in the ancestral house. I also had the chance of staying there for a night last weekend. I was proud of my parents. (Wee! Can a child really say that about her parents?)

Well, someday, I will also have my own house too and I will not leave it anymore. ♥

Here are some snapshots from my mobile phone while the house was under construction.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

Meredith Grey

xo .lois.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

last sunday, i got a call from Gelou that a friend has passed on. i couldn't believe it. i just met Sue and 6 others last May 9 this year on a trip to Bais Sand Bar. i joined their trip and we all had fun despite the roads from Dumaguete to Bais being overhauled. though that was only 1 time and it was only a few hours, i knew Sue to be so vibrant and funny and kind. those who knew her could only say "sayang, she was still so young." i know it's always hard to let someone close to you go.

someone told me that people are hypocritical.

in offense, i asked "how can you say that?"

do you know how many people pray for you right now?

yeah. at least 2, i guess.

see? and if you're gone, everyone will pray for you. why not pray for you while you're still alive?

see, that made me silent. he has a good point. it may be harsh, but it's real and it happens to the best of us. we all have friends and loved ones, why don't we pray for their well being and wish them well while we still have time? yet we harbor grudge against them or put up our walls or masks to hide how we truly feel for them. isn't all that just wasting time and emotions? this is a lesson learned for me, or maybe i have learned this before but i forgot so i have to re-learn this.

i remember the email sent to me by a friend titled I wish you enough. read below...

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.' They kissed and the daughter left.
The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" ."I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," he said. "When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough, we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them." Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye."

My message now is this. To you who have lost, remember it is not yours in the first place.
We can only pray that when our time comes, it will be easier for those who will lose us.

Goodbye Sue. Smile your radiant smile upon us.

*
While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. ~Leonardo Da Vinci
It is good to die before one has done anything deserving death. ~Anaxandrides
No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripides
Where death has touched, will it ever be normal again? ~ chiclois
*

xo .lois ♥