While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

last sunday, i got a call from Gelou that a friend has passed on. i couldn't believe it. i just met Sue and 6 others last May 9 this year on a trip to Bais Sand Bar. i joined their trip and we all had fun despite the roads from Dumaguete to Bais being overhauled. though that was only 1 time and it was only a few hours, i knew Sue to be so vibrant and funny and kind. those who knew her could only say "sayang, she was still so young." i know it's always hard to let someone close to you go.

someone told me that people are hypocritical.

in offense, i asked "how can you say that?"

do you know how many people pray for you right now?

yeah. at least 2, i guess.

see? and if you're gone, everyone will pray for you. why not pray for you while you're still alive?

see, that made me silent. he has a good point. it may be harsh, but it's real and it happens to the best of us. we all have friends and loved ones, why don't we pray for their well being and wish them well while we still have time? yet we harbor grudge against them or put up our walls or masks to hide how we truly feel for them. isn't all that just wasting time and emotions? this is a lesson learned for me, or maybe i have learned this before but i forgot so i have to re-learn this.

i remember the email sent to me by a friend titled I wish you enough. read below...

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.' They kissed and the daughter left.
The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" ."I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," he said. "When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough, we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them." Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye."

My message now is this. To you who have lost, remember it is not yours in the first place.
We can only pray that when our time comes, it will be easier for those who will lose us.

Goodbye Sue. Smile your radiant smile upon us.

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While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. ~Leonardo Da Vinci
It is good to die before one has done anything deserving death. ~Anaxandrides
No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripides
Where death has touched, will it ever be normal again? ~ chiclois
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xo .lois ♥