A friend once shared to me that he is estranged to his father, or rather his father is estranged to him. I'm not quite sure. He goes on that it's been 3 years now since he last saw or even spoke with his father. That he may or may not see his father when his father may or may not come home.
A shiver went up my spine. I can't imagine what he must be feeling. Is it longingness? Or does he feel resentment?
He doesn't really share his feelings. He barely even shares stories about him to others. He hardly trusts people enough to share his past or innermost thoughts, that he'd rather stay quiet and mull over his thoughts with a smile tugging on the side. There are layers and layers of him that no one can really be too sure.
To some, he can be a bit mysterious. To me, he's also just sad.
I wonder now, as I look back, if he only felt resignation, as if in defeat of an unnamed war. A war that will probably never end; as other faceless, nameless children would also have to fight in their battles to try to fit their lives into their fathers'.
Once a father, he will always try to be what his father never was to him - a dad who is going to be there for his son, a dad who teaches him the values and beliefs he needs to survive in this life, and a dad who showed all his love and care enough for the son to grow.
Maybe in time, he can say that he is a better father to his son than his father ever was to him.
That is one wish I have for my friend.
xoxo
Sent from my iPhone
2 remarks:
He never talked to me anything skin-deep, too. But I'm sure he's one fragile baby.
I agree. Thanks for reading this post. I didn't name him so he won't see this. hehe
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